Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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