420 ftw
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
