Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
