That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
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We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
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You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We need to get me chipped asap
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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