i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
