Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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