i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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