My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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