it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
