forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
