party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
