Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
