The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
