Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
