But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he shaved USA in his pubs
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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