It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
