she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
