My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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