the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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