There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
