I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize