Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
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We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize