hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
