she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
