Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize