wanna go halves on a baby?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
