I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
