either way he was missing a nipple.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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