Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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