why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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