we should wear snuggies to the strip club
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
not ubering you a puppy
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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