You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
