once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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