His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
