if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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