so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
