You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
