I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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