Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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