Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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