ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
