I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
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Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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