I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
