So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
bring money and cleavage
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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