I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
accomplished twins. life is a go
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize