you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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