Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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