the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
