so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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