that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
