Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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