My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
