You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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