Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
