I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
