Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
