yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
