she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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