a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize