I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
