Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
