I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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