So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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